After all this time, I'm still not back to the status quo. This is retarded, what was that scant few weeks of niceness & warmth compared to the months of empty distance?
I have to stop hanging around. I have to stop acting like some dog, hoping/wishing/yearning for some scraps of attention/friendship tossed carelessly and callously my way from you.
If you had wanted to, you would have come talk to me, but you haven't. And I need to face the facts.
I had long ago stopped wishing for you to come back and resume your developing place in my life (that stopped developing abruptly all those months ago). But I had at least thought, it'd be nice if you were still actively my friend. Apparently, the "me" you got to know wasn't good enough to even warrant that huh? To warrant even wanting to talk to me as a normal casual friend.
I need to find distance, so I can finally be rid of this shadow that somehow unreasonably plagues me still. But somehow, I have always been good at remembering things, people and good times... long after the brief glimpses of them have abandoned me.
It's really stupid to yearn after something that was so short and fleeting. my thoughts really need to be controlled.
You clearly don't want to be the subject of my thoughts. And I guess I should want to say that neither do I.
It will come to me one day.
After all, it was only a few weeks.
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