daesung is a singing angel :')
a quick listen here and here
the voice just melts you like omgasdfghjkl.
ah watching bigbang videos actually inspires me so. each member is so different, so freaking talented and it's not just the looks (the group is actually supposed to be below kpop's "standard"). It is mostly talent, that each of them can launch such successful #1 solo careers outside of the group in their individual niche areas. One in producing/composing music (& earning 1million USD from royalties alone in a year), one in box office hit movies, one with a name as the best dancer in korea (korean michael jackson) by industry experts and multiple solo album #1s, one in japan now a popular variety show host even though japanese is not his native language.
and when they started 6 years ago at 18 to 19years old, they were scared for the future, trying hard to secure their place in the group, making mistakes, getting scolded, beating themselves up over singing offtune etc (watching their debut documentary + hardwork +sweat + tears omg) But now they so effortlessly wow the audience, just from confidence and charisma alone. Performing has become so natural, you rarely see any other "idol" that comfortable on stage, with freestyle adlibs, adding things into their own songs as & when they feel like it without following a certain fixed stage routine, freeflow rap/beatbox/dance/singing/harmonizing, name it you have it.
When they debuted, they dreamed of having a performance in a tokyo dome stadium, just a chance for a performance. Now 6 years later, they have had a world tour of 25 cities, 12 countries, millions of audiences. They not just performed but sold out 8 different shows at the Great Domes in japan. (the hallmark dream of an asian artist in japan is to perform in those dome)
things change so much. as a result of all their hard work.
so, i must stop being a lazy escapist and do something about my life!!!
#anticlimax end of post.
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Tuesday, February 19, 2013
a good dream that comes once in a long while.
out of the monotony of nightmares and blank nothings,
i dreamt of warmth, smiles, and soothing hands :')
and then also, had a damn epic sci-fi universe dream that- for a change- wasn't bad or involved me dying. crazy loads of details, people with inhuman powers, psychics, and head-crabs (yes the Alien movie universe kind) trololol.
this is both good and bad signs.
one, it shows that YESSSS I AM GETTING SLEEP ^^
but two, I HAVENT DONE MY LEGAL MEMO OR CLIENT LETTER.
asdfghjkl.
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Saturday, February 09, 2013
i spend over 4-5 hours doing chores for you today. i have tons and tons of work that i know i need to be doing (& im worrying myself sick about it) and im sick to the core with this horrible tiredness & sorethroat but i still do it willingly, without you saying it twice. because you're family. because this is family helping out around the house when the maid just decides to leave a week ago (because of your overboard verbal abuse day in day out to her, shouting and screaming and all the insults- but that's another story).
i don't even complain to you about how much work i have, or try to wheedle my way to less work, or try to lessen it on account of being sick, i just do it. and you can shout at me over being fucking too slow for your liking??
why don't you try to poke the small tiny nuts yourself in "half an hour" because that's all you think it takes, even though i've been sitting here concentrating on doing them for the past 2 hours at my fastest speed. Even if you really think they take 1/2 hour, don't you think you could at least fucking appreciate people when they do things for you? no, all you do is tell me that i'm so so so slow and that it's freaking 11 pm on the eve of new year and i haven't kept the shoes at the door. and then you proceed to throw my shoes out the door, slamming the door at the same time while screaming at me. while i try to hurry with the nuts.
just because one is related, doesn't give any one a license to be an ass.
and the best part, you start shouting at me for not doing that one thing, in fact the last item on the list, even though you didn't even have to remind me at all for me to have done everything else i was supposed to do. that i've been doing. all day long today. slamming doors and making snide horrible remarks. wtf. i don't deserve this. and this is not the only day you do this to me, where maybe perhaps you could be excused for being stressed.
every day, every week, every month, every year, no matter if it's chinese new year (where you're apparently supposed to embody all the good sentiments and feelings for the new year- don't make me laugh) or if it's a normal day. you make me feel bad, useless, worthless, stupid, horrible. and you tell me in as much words yourself. hurtful cutting words every other day, about how i get more useless as i grow up (translation from cantonese). how i'm a horrible girl. etcetc. and the list goes on. all over mundane matters.
in fact, if i may say so myself, objectively looking at my conduct... i think my conduct as a daughter has been excellent. i don't talk back, ever (unlike certain friends of mine where i have many times even heard them being rude and impatient to their parents over the phone). i tell you almost every where im going, every time im coming back, am home before 10pm almost every day, help you do anything you ask me to, listen to you for hours on end if you rant & rave, run errands outside the house at a moment's notice, remember all your bdays even when no one else in the family even bothers to take note of anyone else's, and i write note after notes on every single celebration, telling my mother & father how much i appreciate them raising me. But all i do is take every single insult/snide remark/degrading you've dished out to me. when you hit me, i don't hit back. when you try to control everything i do, from what i wear to what i eat to what i do, i just say "ok" to almost everything. so why do i deserve any of this?
i once told a confidante how you screamed at me and called me worthless. over something as minor as using tissue paper instead of a towel. and that friend told me never ever to think of myself that way.
but how on earth do you not get affected, when day in day out, your very own mother tells you otherwise?
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Wednesday, February 06, 2013
yay our videos of SMUFM's very first production are up!!! :)
HERE is the youtube channel. The vids flow in the order of the dances performed during the concert itself.
Haha i think the Opening Item, the Eurhythmix one and the Waacking one were damn awesome. (in waacking there's this freaking hot female senior ahhh her facial expressions! but the vid exposure too bright T.T haha me and some other girls were like having lesbian crush moments. temporarily HAHA.)
Heh and of course popping was the best ;) my popping family :')
lol. I'm only in the popping item and the finale mass dance (where i can spy myself somewhere in the 3rd row but there's really too many people.) Try to spot me, friends. HAHA it's like a game of Where's Wally. But if not, just enjoy the funk!! :)
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Tuesday, February 05, 2013
after class today
raining. both on the outside & inside
idk what to do and it seems like i can't change course from this imminent disaster.
school's out at 6.45pm. everyone flooding the hallways while you try desperately to walk the corridors pretending your eyes are not red.
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Sunday, February 03, 2013
sigh.
idk why i feel so exhausted and drained when i wake up each day
the nightmares are so exhausting. and filled with non-good feelings.
whether i remember them or not, i know they were there.
ugh.
i haven't had so many bad dreams in so many nights as i've had in this week since like... primary school? Maybe it's the stress & loneliness. that much correlates to pri school days. and that correlates to mugger tendencies also. (i.e. i was hardworking in the past, and quality of life went down also HAHA)
i need to relax.
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Friday, February 01, 2013
hahahahaha looking thru past photos randomly coz someone was talking about elections on a group whatsapp...
OMG realized i have a picture with yam ah mee (before he became so famous over social media/internet for being the returning officer for elections HAHA) but it's a group picture with all our countdown people (omg we can go say we have a pic with someone semi-famous LOL really reallyyyy cheap thrills) and there's the minister shanmugam in it as well. our VIP guest yoz.
i miss youth club :( though there is the horrible painful process of events planning, there was all the wonderful bonds we forged (together with bimbotic antics + shameless 7-way fake-flirting... what an incestuous bunch of non-blood related people. i still haven't met a group i've felt this in sync with ever since. though of course there are individuals!) However horrible events planning was, it always made us feel fulfilled at the end, after a successful community service project completes itself with only minor hitches. smiles of the children/elderly/poor homeowners. maybe that's the sense of fulfillment i'm lacking these days?
have to stop getting too carried away with work/school/myself and decide that there will be 3 years more of this, i need to find more balance and meaning to life. but i just feel like the community "service" available to lawyers seems very unsatisfying. sitting in a room helping lawyers take notes hardly makes me feel like i did anything noteworthy :/ i guess thailand was an experience though. ARGH. why didn't the marine parade youth club get back to me on my application to join 1 year ago. wtf. inefficiencies man. i could have been helping them for over a year since As ended.
Ah well. There really was a LOT of wonderful opportunities in jc... idk compared to uni though. shall see as they come.
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