you wait for 2 hours for some friends.
turn down 1-2 other well-meaning pals who ask you to join them instead. pals who you haven't seen as often but nevertheless you turn down because you have a prior pact to keep.
finally meet the very important people, and end up being sidelined by conversation on topics you don't know... you ask questions because you genuinely want to find out more about something your friends are interested in and so as not to be a spoilsport... but barely get any replies over a deluge of other interruptions.
you give up.
La chose triste? Personne n'est intéressé.
maybe i just am oversensitive. but it's not like i go, emo, cut and cry myself to sleep or whatever. i don't. but it hurts all the same.
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:(
1/30/2013 02:15:00 PMargh food poisoning? or gastric? or something else?
stomach hurts in a weird way.
want to puke but don't think it'll help.
argh. feels like im back in the thai village with stomach issues.
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Tuesday, January 29, 2013
sianwhymustcrampingalwaysstartonahiongday.
ughhhh
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Friday, January 25, 2013
:')
1/25/2013 12:44:00 AMfriends, y'all should go take The 5 Love Languages Quiz, haha an insight into how your mind works....
anyway, spare the time for 3minutes of THIS
:') so touching. listening to it in the concert was mind-blowing, especially the part where they let the audience sing along, and without fail, no matter what country/language/nationality, the audience can sing the exact lyrics. :')
If you've no time, at least look at some parts of the chorus. Ah the emotion in the singing/chorus. Plus their singing solos at the end omg + when they ask the audience to sing :'). And this freaking SEXY rapping voice (and i mean really sexy, he doesn't have fangirls and fanboys for no reason) in 1:04-1:20 and 2:21-2:30 of the video. I never thought rap was nice until bb.
the only idol group in korea who can sing/rap/beatbox acapella and sound like the real freaking recorded track. human jukeboxes/talents. short 20 second clip. I can't even imagine another k-group doing this. And seldom western singers have this sorta teamwork? coz they are usually soloists! And western boybands (ummmm).
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Thursday, January 24, 2013
Gymming for Balance, CommsBall, FMProduction!
1/24/2013 08:49:00 PM
had lunch with huaipin today, talked about tiger-parents and about how we hate CNY haha (as can be evidenced by my last angsty cny post sighpie).
also gymmed in smu for the first time ever (for me) with hiren and darren today! technically i just ran by myself for a long while. and then went to disturb them. then did planks with hiren who is a mega cheater (see this) who extends the planking timings without telling you tsktsk.
haha did only 5k of running and planks coz i'm lazy that way. but feel so freaking happy after exercising hahaha.
now im crashing though after post-exercise high. sigh am in the (damn) cold library by myself fighting sleep and a headache. need to do some work tho!!! rawr
this is the start of me fulfilling my goal for a balanced lifestyle this sem :) let's hope it happens.
***
Shall blog about last weekend since lessons are over for this week!
The naval commissioning ball that jack invited me to on friday was great :)
lolol i shall be egotistic but i actually learnt makeup + eyeliner skills from youtube a few days before (because of SMUFM production and also the ball), but it looks not bad (me thinks) HAHA. yay not such a fail person after all. anyway, my smufm seniors (karen etc) were all very surprised my stage makeup for production was my own handiwork also hahaha. yay. tho they made some joke about how "law student la, very smart la, anything also can learn very fast" hurhurh.
okay, anyway thanks jack (if you read this) for picking me up from home to grand copthorne and then sending me back too! cabs are damn ex :/ The ball reminded me A LOT like jc and secondary school prom actually, though the only difference was that i didn't know anybody. They had a really freaking good/entertaining MC running the show, playing stupid but damn funny stage games (between randomly chosen volunteers), and some performances plus videos of their time in naval officer training! The videos were really not bad, so touching even though i didn't even understand half the army lingo there lol and the training seems damn freaking tough. I'm always amazed how much crap all NSboys slog thru, be it police/firefighters/navy/airforce/officers/commandos lol, i guess humans can do a lot when pushed hard (by themselves and others).
Lucky draw as usual was the highlight LOL, kept wishing we'd individually win the top prize/win something (in sec 4 i won a $100 MPH voucher, not bad not bad xD). This was so like JC prom, i remember the exact same scene of spazzing over wanting to win also. And in jc, the top prize was announced like.... "the surname of the person is ..... tan" and then all of us with the same surname were spazzing out before they announced someone else T.T okay anyway, chatted to this girl called Dawn who's a first year also apparently studying in SMU:) she was the gal-pal of jack's buddy (freaking funny dude who seems kinda diva-like). great night since i managed to be sociable to some people xD
i wonder how amos's officer comms ball went (the next day) also, think quite a lot of friends went for that one!
***
SMUFM production was the next day after commsball. reached school at 12, got ready till 2pm, then we rehearsed like 3 times. In between had a lot of random dance grooving pracs where we did random moves and bobbed around acting cool ^^ hahaha just so as to keep the mood up! lol took a hell lotta camwhore photos with the poppers and some of the locking girls also :) daniu was my hairstylist, teaching me how to gelspray my hair.... but in the end, my hair was still quite cmi :/ tsk. im quite proud that my suggestion to use white parade/Uniform group gloves for our mannequin/doll performance item was incorporated into the actual perf. can't believe no one else thought of it though! anyway, without it, i think we would have looked quite plain, that's why i suggested it!
haha actually the rehearsals are on youtube, but i think i shall wait for the latest rehearsal (full dress) vids to come out before i post the links here.
am so glad ogmates and ocip mates turned up for my perf :) ahahaha thanks guys for the support, for your time, for the macarons (omg super nice) and for the squishy crocodile stufftoy that was humongous :) hope they had a great time.
these few days i keep having an urge to pop when i hear strong beats in music. have to stop myself or people will judge :/ left-over hangover effects from production :P
***
okay end post :)
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Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Fan antics
1/23/2013 06:34:00 PMT.O.P. is such a good boy to his mother omg :') so sweet. hardly hear of many celebs who always talk about their mom/family/parents as much as TOP does in variety shows/big bang shows. Plus he bought a 5 million USD villa to live in with his family in Korea? Such a filial son.
I read this article, from TOP to his fans and also a message from his mom, gosh so sweet :') and it makes you feel like it's really quite a heartfelt message that shows fans they are appreciated indeed. Lol though certainly im not one of those (mentioned) who give fan letters/messages/presents because how on earth do you get it to them anw?? Coz im not that much of a stalker LOL to be able to get close enough at airports/etc to pass gifts.
I think some fansites/fanclubs are crazy scary, they actually buy stuff for bigbang members, and the members (esp TOP) show their appreciation by wearing the gifts for quite a few weeks! And the gifts are sometimes no-kidding-freaking-expensive, like Yves St Laurent or Comme Les Garcons or Givenchy or some other haute couture brand. Rings/Shoes/you name it. BB really wears damn freaking expensive branded clothes... So the gifts fit right into their ensemble.
I know coz there's this fansite that analyses and can tell you where exactly/how much/what brand/style the exact piece of clothing a certain bb member wore on a certain day/event. HAHAHA these people are really epitome of stalkers HAHA. respect. Like they can recognize it right down to the inner shirt layers/ multiple layers of clothes/shoes/sunglasses/rings omg. Should check it out, if you have high fashion tastes hahaha. damn nice styles.
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wtf really.
i feel like my life is repeating again. the exact same scenarios, the exact problems.
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Monday, January 21, 2013
Slack auras & Close calls
1/21/2013 10:12:00 PMHehe so funny, today sat in the lib with hiren & jeremy (2 smart disciplined buggers xD)
....then they said that usually they concentrate very well on mugging, suddenly this aftnn sitting around me at the table they suddenly felt de-motivated. HAHAHA then they accused me of spreading my slack aura XD omg I'm too powerful already trololol. a force to be unleashed on law school competitors hurhurhurh. make them not study.
today i had 2 close calls omg.
Stumbled twice on one stretch of road on the way home (owing to my inattention in missing my busstop D:), and it's the kind of stumble that afterwards your one overwhelming thought is "homg luckily i didn't break an ankle". After the first one, was thinking how lucky i've been to not have broken/sprained any limb/joint in my life, AND few moments later, stumbled the second time lol. Think it's lucky that i throw my weight to the other side, or let myself fall instead of waiting for the ankle to bend haha. Or confirm break/sprain already.
Omg cannot, later how am i supposed to dance and to run??? (not that i've actually exercised in ages outside of Funk Movement practices hahaha but still...) And i will also go stir-crazy from the inactivity and having nth else to do but sit down and actually mug.
anyway, friends, watch this vid: (freaking epic storyline ending HAHAHA, i love making people watch this and then looking at their reaction at the end muahaha. it won't disappoint, trust me)
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Sunday, January 20, 2013
ahhhh i feel so freaking screwed. haven't done readings for this week AT ALL. (coz of funk movement production and practices all weekend)
omg. and idk leh. i just feel like sleeping all the time, so tired :/ idk how josh (the senior & only other law student in Funk Movement) can apparently do readings till 4am then wake up and come for production day itself (according to what the other poppers told me. freak what kind of law student am i?)
today i just wasted it, feeling rather apathetic about life and tired. haha omg. how can i let backlog pile up on week3??????
anyway, will blog some other time about Production on sat and Comms Ball on fri. Good times :) but now i'm so screwed.
feel like sleeping for the 3rd time today. (having done nothing all day but prepare to start work. and eat. omg :/) & feeling terrified of eliza mik's wrath on tuesday. can feel the flames of it from here already. it's gonna burn real bad.
it's only week3, but it feels like gradually a divide is gonna start coming up between people i haven't seen often/in a while. i hope it doesn't really turn out that way.
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Wednesday, January 16, 2013
my luck is really really good.
-things are always sold out when i want them.
-registration closes every time i think of signing up for something.
-when i actually sign up successfully, something else equally urgent pops up on the exact same date of the commitment.
-people never pick up calls when i have urgent things to ask them.
-more important things happen when my friends are together... without me.
Murphy's law gosh. or maybe i just like exaggerating and whining. k im sorry.
the same thing has happened to me 3 times in the last 2-3 weeks. and i am tired.
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Sunday, January 13, 2013
君が嫌いな君が好き
1/13/2013 08:58:00 PMI've been thinking over the last few weeks (and maybe months) i think i am quite a possessive person. One who gets jealous easily. Not of material possessions/money but of good will/affection/etc.
I shouldn't. and cannot. It's unhealthy.
Read this in The Zahir: "suffering occurs when we want other people to love us in the way we imagine we want to be loved."
Expecting to get something back, to get recognition for your efforts, for your genius to be discovered, for your love to be understood is to suffer in silence without taking control of your own fate.
In another aspect, I need to study hard and stop waiting for some external stroke of luck to make me suddenly disciplined/better than i am now. Remember wishing so hard so many times in the shooting star night in Thailand where we watched over 30 stars fall in less than 20minutes in the cold frigid night air: for so many things... for better relationships with people, for luck, for family, for friends, for discipline, for good studies.... It is a placebo/psychological effect I'm sure, maybe I just need to concretely tell myself to wake up.
From an old KAT-TUN song:
`kimi ga kirai na kimi ga suki
one should really learn to love the 'you' that 'you' yourself hate. only then can you really be at peace i guess?
Need to stop these constant angsty feelings of self-loathing and "wasted"-ness i feel everyday. Starting from now (looks at my pile of readings T.T eep)
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