Yesterday, 140809, was Enrolment/Striping 2009. The day we said our goodbyes to our 4 years of guiding, 4 years of awesome times with batchiees and juniors.
Went down to the Guides Table right after school, saw batchiees ^^ and fooled around like almost any other guides session, setting up the flagpole at the field, gossiping, helping some sec1s chunko holes in the ground for their SL project then complaining abt how ungrateful some of them were, hahaha the normal daily things our batch does XD Didnt feel anything much at that time, maybe i was just trying hard not to think about what was going to happen later in the day. Or maybe it just hadnt sunk in for most of us yet!
I'm glad we fell in together, all the sec 4 PLs shouting "patrol attention" together for our last time. It's really our last time standing in front of the patrol, last time wearing our uniform and falling in, ahhh man, last time marching in a horse shoe formation. :(
Then during the horseshoe, enrolment went fine :D, the recruits were a BIT unsure about their stuff, like who to time and stuff, though i thought we went thru before, but who blames them for being nervous? Still remember our first time in the horse shoe, getting enrolled! Oh man, hard to believe that that was 4 whole YEARS ago, where i didnt know batchiees well, was super scared and apprehensive of guides. We changed A LOT over the last 4 years, but it seemed like just yesterday we were looking at the long long long way ahead of us in Guides and now it's over like that. :(
THEN--- STRIPING. Watching the other Batchiees go up there and put stripes onto their juniors taking over, I was just thinking blankly like "oh look, so and so got that position and so and so didnt have anyone to stripe" then it finally hit me after all the CLs and PLs were done: We weren't here anymore, we weren't going to come back or have patrol corner or have so much fun with batchiees DURING guides session or teasing juniors or gossiping at the guides table after a SESSION. :( we weren't having a guides session anymore on wednesdays that ive always associated with guides :(
The worst part came after the horseshoe and we fell out. Brenda and jiemin came over and they were crying and then i was crying. then buddy, ellie,joni everyone was there and we were hugging and crying and you cry so much more when the person you're hugging is crying too. ahhhh man. :( then later when they shouted "PLs fall in with your new patrols" we realised that we were NEVER going to stand with everyone or fall patrols in again. and even then we were still gravitating with a instinctive urge when they said "fall in" to where they were. it felt so strange and sad that when they fell in, we no longer belonged with our patrols and we were standing at the back. :(
then gift giving time: when i exchanged my gifts with alicia and when we hugged and she cried and said "Ill miss you so much", I started crying ALOT, and i was thinking how its almost really GOODBYE, and we were never having anymore camps, patrol corners,and hanging out with everyone during guides session, no more exchanging gifts for events (except for AA thats at e end of the year) and etcetcetc. ahh and cried when i hugged joceline too. my dear sec 2 and 3 ill miss you so much!!
gave gifts to batchiees and these are really the last gifts we're giving each other in our final year :( and the striping that was always about the seniors leaving, have become us :( i remember being extremely sad when sarah p.(PL when we were sec 1),elizabeth,nattay, lydia,aida,aqilah,valerie (all the past patrol seniors) leaving as well as the past awesome CLs leaving who were so great and nothing felt like it could ever take their place to now, watching ourselves leave....
anyway, the YAs talked to us later! Isa was damn cute and funny when she said "anyway, today, the YAs went shopping in the school bookshop!!!!!!" hahaha. im sorry we were kinda stone during their talking!but we didnt know what to say either! and later when we sang linger again while surrounding them, more batchiees plus me cried again too :X ahhhh then jiemin said "we should stop crying, what if later we go out and the waiter's cute??" HAHAHA omg damn funny and random.
later we had batch dinner! went to swensens at plaza sing! sadly the CLs couldnt make it, for understandable reasons but we still missed them at the dinner! <33 :(( we must really really have more batch outings during options period XD
I WILL MISS BATCHIEES SO MUCH..... :X
<3333333333333333333333333333333333333333
(in random order)
YINLENG.WEIQING.AMANDA.SARAH.BRENDA.HANIS.ELLIE.JIEMIN.
JONI.CHERYL.GRACIA.RACHELTAN.VIVIEN.ZANN.NICOLE.
XIAOMIN.YUHAN.JANE.MIIN.ALYSSA.WOONKI.JIAYI.
ahhh. plus juniors like alicia, joceline, peixuan, christine, rachel wang,kim, laura, nicole, xiaotong,racheltan, grace,naz,fang,sarah/shinyee etcetc etc who are all so important to me but too many to list.
will miss...
-patrol corners
-falling in together
-rollcall (where there was once we had so little pple until the numbers jumped from 1,2,3,4,5then suddenly-10,11..15! hahaha)
-walking around with batchiees during guides session
-gossiping like CRAZY at the Guides table both before and after Guides session (oh man miss those days:()
-LAUGHING AT and with batchiees (also juniors)like about jiemin's random singing/rapping (or lack of singing skills)hehehe, brenda's numerous FUNNY AND SPAZ faces, sarah buddy's comments (like about ahemahem)and forever-ther-blackstrap HAHA, ellie's wolfie cuteness, weiqing's occasional maluating moments which are rare but which we never EVER forget coz they're priceless XD, laughing about weiqing's "best friend" K (im sorry i just HAVE to put this in),yinleng's constant maluating moments (HEHEHEHE jkjk <333XD),hanis's tweety bird face and sunyerricsun etcetc all-too-priceless moments
-going out for lunch
-march and april CAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (all 4 years worth of march camps plus this years awesome april one)
-the fire splashing up during march camp 09 and we had to evacuate the hall :O
-sleeping in the tent last year and talking till super late at night!
-sleeping in the hall in march camp and having late night gossip sessions with sarah buddy and alicia XD
-complaining about the outdoor cooking fiascos HAHAHA
-singing random songs and being super high on the bus to southdday,aprilcamp etcetc. hahaha ahhh like singing "im a barbie girl" randomly, rapping guides songs like gako HAHA, playing funny spaz games like "hiharry"
-HAHAHA omg our SPC-ing before April camp!!
-KATONG LAKSA BATCHIEEE GAMES!!!!!!!!(those were the high random days XD)
-Kettling with brenda at various places for CIP hours
-practicing AA dance and all of us failing miserably at it except for hanis XDD (though we'll still be doing this)
-all the 4 years worth of passing clauses, firelighting, tentage (that we had to try & fail so many many times for XD HEHE),axemanship, ....
-painting candles for ORA in sec 2
-watching movies with batchiees and crying our eyes out at the sad parts then laughing at each other (we must still continue having outings!!!!!!)
-being high at campfires!!!!!
-selling stuff during this years GGS carn, having 2nd coy's muffins sold out even before our shift, buying 1st coy's DIY keychains, 3rd coys chocolate fondue XD, randomly going around with buddy and brenda and pigging out :D
-MUCH MUCH more...
haiz now, i don't know what to say anymore, all the above words cant really express how i feel about us leaving. I'll really miss batchiees, juniors, patrol,YAs who always come back to help us, EVERYONE. Im really really thankful I joined guides and all the people who made this journey so good and have given me this warm feeling i get in my heart every single time after guides events and sessions and fun outings. I don't think we'll ever get to experience all this again, but at least we already have... I don't want to see batchiees and juniors go, but its inevitable so ill really really miss everything guides has been to me, the people especially, loads and loads.our past wonderful seniors who have so inspired us, our dear juniors whom we're leaving behind and to whom we hope we've been able to be as awesome to as our seniors have been for us, and BATCHIEES all of whom I love with all my heart and hope our friendships last forever and ever and ever and that we'll keep in contact even after Guides and RGS and after RIJC and so on...
In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
'Cause true love never dies
In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things
we'll wish we'd never said
In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner, no regrets
Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop the world
I'd make this last... :(
----don't say goodbye
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Tuesday, August 04, 2009
today went out with siti & wanling on the spur of the moment to IONOrchard to eat XDD haha short one and I's long delayed outing XDD HAHA reminds us of the time we both thought the other wanted to study but actually both wanted to go out and slack HAHAHA. XD but anw today siti had to go back to school :(( so we left after 1hr and a half plus plus XD omgosh ionorchard is a coolios place. the food basement makes you want to eat everything up and grow fat :3 hahaha! and the burger king is all black and white! we could hardly find it coz we were looking out for the biggish blue and orange trademark sign :O hahaha. failed marketing strategy.:D
anyway on another note...
HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT??? I really really really wish i have the willpower to sit down and just DO work. Even when I don't switch on the lil-black-box-of-doom (aka the computer-- why the name? coz it kills any chances of me starting on my work), I still don't get anything done! I end up either No.1: Sleeping or No.2: Staring into space or No. 3: Eating or No. 4: Annoying my brother.
Grrr. Even NOW, when im complaining about my lack of ability to do work, here i am digressing D: And the last 2 weekends went by with NOTHING being done. Normally people say they didnt do MUCH, when i say that, i really really mean I havent done ANYTHING whatsoever. X.X
Omg, i can switch on the computer and procrastinate for 5 hours straight, from 5pm to 10pm ++ when i have a freaking project worth 20% of our overall marks due in two days and only 20% of it has been completed.AHHHHHH. i know im screwed but i do it anyway! THAT SUCKS BIG TIME.
I hate coming to school in the morning and hating myself for being a useless bum when i see and hear all the productive stuff everyone else has done! -.-
Someone needs to give me their willpower and their brains as well. ARGH. pretty pretty please? XD
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Saturday, August 01, 2009
Closed off circles, dozens of them just out of reach.
No matter how hard you try, you can't break into them
Or as a matter of fact, just trying to go along with them is tough as hell
When y'all talk, ya talk in the code of past experiences never partaken in by the rest, in the code of a dozen private jokes
The laughter and pretentious highness-- good & enthu and all, but sometimes just grating on the nerves.
And of course ya'll act like there's no one else in the world besides that circle.
But the insensitivity hurts like a a blunt knife jab, painful but still not enough to end it all.
the circles are a metaphor. for something oh so obvious.
and you.
was our camaraderie merely a convenience?
easy to throw away now that we no longer partake in the same after-hours activity?
i realise im always the one seeking you first. for company, for laughs, for friendship
but the moment i don't, it's like I never existed.
so im that easy to write off huh? unless, god forbid, you find you need something from me.
let's see how long this stalemate prolongs
how long it'll take before you realise that suddenly we havent spoken for months.
i wouldn't be surprised if it never happens.
i should do something about it shouldnt i?
but sometimes, enough is enough
:)by right, this doesnt just apply to you. it applies to you, you, you, you,you,you,you.
but its not your fault. and neither is it mine.
let's just let this experiment continue shall we?
to find out just how long it will take before someone snaps?
---
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