fucking betrayed. wtf.
how could yall.
after all the related discussions we've had and everything, and you just do this to me without even asking??
even if there might have been a problem with me having other possible choices, doesn't mean you dont ask right?
and the best part, so many other people can be asked instead huh, though a lot are friends (but aren't i one of them as well), some of the people you haven't worked with even once before.
i always thought we were all in this together. i thought we were tight. i would have appreciated at least being told or even asked. but no, apparently im not good enough.
apparently im just some idiot who can be fucking ignored any time its not convenient.
im so sad i dont even know where to start.
i don't think this is childish or immature at all. I would feel it's only right, if you have a couple of close friends, who have actually talked about such stuff with you two before and quite frequently, that you would consider these people when you actually do important things. But no.
Makes me think that all my life i've been deluding myself, telling myself that these are people who i treasure, who would treat me like a treasured friend in return. But maybe i have been one-sidedly attaching value where there is none to be expected back. A depressing thought.
my family screws with my head and emotions everyday. and then my friends come and fuck me over. fuck my life.
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