okay, this is not really a 2011 reflection solely, but a combined 2010 and 2011 reflection... mainly because i don't think i had a single moment of breathing space like this even in dec 2010 due to countdown madness and then transitioning straight away into the new year of 2011 with handing over/selecting the new exco/ with archery nationals & excessive training/ with studying like mad to catchup on everything i missed in j1.
woa that was one intense run-on sentence. LOL i should improve my punctuation XP
okay here goes... let's start by looking at some (certainly not all) of my 01/01/2010 Resolutions (when JC was going to start and like all secondary 4s, we were all q. apprehensive of the future)
1. "Enjoy jc life, subject combi and ccas of choice":
even with all the studying stress (where you feel like all the effort is churning out abysmal results) , crapload of admin saikang (BLYC) and crapload of pushups (archery), and even with all the mass complaining about class atmosphere... I think i can safely say that i really really had a very good, crazy-fun at times, service-filled, fruitful and educational two years :) obviously with ups (like never before) and downs (that can also reach quite low).... however, am still so very thankful :) for all the things the low-points have taught me and for all the wonderful experiences i have never went through before.
Learnt:
-how fulfilling service to others could feel
-how exhilarating it is to pour so much into a team effort together, that you feel this incredulous sense of joy upon completion (as opposed to feeling guilty that you did not do enough)
-how the classic prischool and sec school mindset of "sports isn't meant for ability-less people like me" is such a damaging way to think, just go out there and do your best!
-to stop thinking about what's going wrong, but what's going right. your mental state already determines the outcome of half the battle.
-from certain friends who have such forgiving natures and large hearts that i should aspire to do the same. to try and learn how to forgive others more easily, to not blindly follow a mass preconception and marginalise others, to forgive and forget, to be grateful for the things i have. (all this is still a work in progress of course, but hopefully realizing the need to do such things is already a step in the correct direction :) )
-how life is short and we should spend more time with the right people. namely, the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy ways.
-how one should stop bashing up oneself/stop blaming oneself for one's flaws and love yourself more. only then will people love you more.
-how to be more independent (still a work in progress :D)
-that procrastination is a bad thing (AHAHAHA who am i kidding)
2. Exercise and get fit
3. Have no misunderstandings/quarrels with others that cannot be resolved
Have had a couple of unhappy things happening thru these two years, but nothing that was not easily resolved by discussing things honestly. I remember being very upset over the way the TYC@BL book publishing issue was being handled by wwc, but i also rmbr how maturely it was settled. (All hail the boss indeed!!) it's good that i did not choose to bottle up the frustration and sadness i was feeling, (and we cannot assume the other party can understand our silence all the time), and when everyone is on the same page, things can always reach a compromise. Many other incidents, but yada yada--
4. Make good, supportive friends and keep up with the old ones who matter most.
Hopefully, i didn't do too badly with this one:) the results remain to be seen. Though truthfully, some have been lost :( , but some wonderful ones have also been found :) and i guess this should be a goal throughout one's life, it can never be measured as "completed", neither can it be said to not have been "achieved".
okay so just some Dreams for 2012 (am not going to post some of the more personal ones HAHA :D aha! there! i have learnt self-censorship~~ lolol)
1. Make proper goals and try to stick to them
2. Don't turn to others so often to remedy your angst... be independent, girl!
3. Even if others don't treat you right (or you don't think they do), be the best person (daughter/sister/friend) you can be, and let whatever happens, happen.
4. Cry less and smile more :)
lol i have 20 actual resolutions~ so hard to rmb actually.
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