yesterday i smsed mir baby randomly to spread some love and some study-hard mood :):) (in the process to make myself do some work xD) haha was so touched, when she was so happyyy too and in return sent all the easties a wonderful msg :) awww :')
which makes me realise, i'm the kind of person who really needs (hmm? too strong a word, but it's not merely 'likes' either) friends who you not only can hang out really well in person, but who i know i can contact through sms/msn/fb/homephonecall anytime. I mean, it's not like im gonna bug you 24/7 or everyday or even every other day. but the knowledge that i can do so for random things/when i see something that reminds me of some joke or memory we have... is a comforting thought. In fact, sometimes I don't even need to, coz the person might have contacted me first with the same thing in mind.
other revelations i had over the last few weeks. there are some friends who i really treasure. they've been with me through many years and shared many memories.... or for some others maybe much less than that... but all have been so fricking wonderful to me. almost unconditionally. at any rate, i hope to keep my bonds with them growing strong.... but i also realised, if i cannot be happy in certain groups, with certain people (even though that group also additionally contains 1 or 2 of those really good friends), i am no longer going to beat myself up trying to force-fit myself with others who do not gel with me-- and they do not gel with me for reasons of their own choice, not of mine coz goodness, ive already really really tried. All are nice people, who are obviously even better people around their closer friends, no fault of anyone's, not theirs... nor even mine. We don't gel, so let's move on from there.
At any rate, i hope to be there for my closest treasured ones, and hopefully they'll be there for me too, even though i no longer hang with the same circle. It works better for all, in that way.
I guess people are obviously differently-made. Being nice and friendly isn't enough, if you just can't find the spark to hit it off with some acquiantance, there's really nothing much we can do. The best thing to do is be nice be polite and then.... walk away. Saves the hurt (particularly on one's side). I realise a lot of frequent emo problems i had 3-4 years ago (thankfully not as often once jc started, maybe became too busy to think about anything xD) could have been solved by just understanding these:
1. So what if i can't be the one that certain classmates in RG talk to so freely and easily? So what if i never ever fit into certain groups of people tho we did so much tgt. In turn, there are many others who i get along magnificently with but others don't. Aka we're all of different wavelengths. If everyone was the same and we could all be the best friends with anyone so long as we spend enough time with them.... then the world would be Barney's utopia. haha i love you, you love me, we are one big happy family. LOL.
2. If my good friend is in a circle of which i am not part of.... she's still my good friend, even though the group doesnt include me, do i need to be in the same things, sama sama? of course not.
haha omg, why have i typed so much? kay im done.
The easy talk, the laughter and the jokes are an addiction.
And a really good one :) my days are brightened :):)
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