yesterday i can literally count how i spent my day in terms of pain-free or pain filled hours.
9am: wake up. onset of a freaking painful gastric. (i have no idea why)
10-12nn: math tuition. FML. how the hell do you concentrate when you are on the verge of wanting to roll into a ball and fk math. lol my math tutor who i told that i had gastric b4 the tuition started, only realised towards the end that i was in pain throughout, when i was like ouchhhhhhhhh. and then he was like woa. girls got very high pain tolerance. I WISH lah. if i had better pain tolerance, i could have continued poker-facing throughout.
slept. ate lunch. slept again for 3+hours. woke up. shucks pain still there. sian have to start revising math. revise revise *pain pain pain* dinner. then omg i miraculously feel better :O HAHA *chiongggggggggggg math*
going to sleep time: FMLLLLLLLLLL. omg. the pain is back x3. spent an hour trying to will it away so i can sleep.
spending yesterday in a continuous 7/10 pain scale stomach pain (the just below your ribcage gastric pain kind) was comparatively okay compared to this morning. this morning was like waking to a nightmare. woke up, hoping fervently that i would feel okay (just like what happened for Bio CT2, where i was curled up in pain all night but woke up marginally better). But nope. Woke up to the same fricking pain as yesterday night, but feeling like puking all my non-existent stomach contents out.
stumbled to the toilet, super dizzy, couldn't even hold myself up at the sink properly, just leaned like siao on it and tried to manage. felt like sitting on my fricking toilet floor, and im a clean freak who thinks my toilet is damn disgusting, so that's saying something. True, you really only start to appreciate a healthy body, when you realise when you're sick that you can't even do the simple tasks without struggling. Trying to wear a uniform has never been this torturous, since when would you ever have to sit down 3 times in the 5 minutes you're trying to get dressed? sigh. but the one thing you should not tell a sick person is that you've had sickness before and you still went to sch for exams in your past. like come on. yes yes, oh wow you're good, but our pain levels might be different, our illnesses different, and i am NOT you. FML and after being told it's all in my head, i get sent out of the house.
yeahhhh im sure this hot iron poker that seems permanently melded to my stomach wall is totally there by imagination. i must have a very masochistic imagination indeed. and the feeling of wanting to puke out all my breakfast and then my stomach for good measure (if that's possible) just so that i won't have to feel anything anymore, yea im certain that feeling is imagined too.
sigh. at the end of the 3 hrs (notice i didnt say "when i finished the math paper" LOL), i was kinda happy because the pain subsided somewhat to something ignorable, tho i left like 35 marks blank. WTH D: sian, totally made a veryyy careless mistake at the integration qn, spent a lot of time there getting stuck then realising my careless mistake nn trying to correct it. As a result, didnt get to do my functions (11mark) qn. ohmycrap. and then the vectors qn, seriously lah, Murphy's Law. the last CTs i couldnt do vectors, it came out a 14 mark qn. this prelims, can do vectors alr and then they give muchhh less. FML. this seems like the same scenario as last CT's math. except the qns i could do, seem done with more certainty. hopefully they are mostly correct. (if not really GG alr.)
LOL and then after the math paper ends, i hear yongjin saying to yifan. "yea i dun think can get my 95% already". i looked across at xueshan and we were both like *rolls eyes* lolol omg yea yongjin, what a tragedy D: shit i can't imagine how sad life would be without a 95 :) (LOL okay but i guess different expectations lah, so nothing wrong with him striving for his dreams, i just wanted to vent and be sarcastic HAHA.
but anyway, it still holds that my math sucks. just that i have been a bit desensitized recently to bad exams. argh. please please let tomorrow be a better day.
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