today i was feeling super damn restless and couldnt study. everywhere i sit in my room doesnt feel right anymore.
I tried:
-the bed (too comfy)
-the chair (sat in too long alr)
-the floor (too cold)
-the table (weird)
gosh.
wanted to run initially to let off excess energy. then ended up walking thru the underpass to east coast park instead. haha good decision. :)
sat by myself on the sand in the shade of the palm trees. the sea is so calming, and peaceful. i sat there for who knows how long. just looking at the waves, esp the white foam that curls along the sand when the waves roll onto the shore, the sky (so bright blue), the clouds, the horizon where the earth really seems to go on forever. when you close your eyes, you can fall asleep right there.
found peace of mind, even for a moment. didn't think of how screwed i was, didn't think about work, or even if i did think about work, i couldn't find anything in me to feel nervous/worried/upset. the sound of the waves somehow just magically takes everything away.
i always found myself a social person, not really wanting to be alone in places, but today, it was good. The park is perfect, with and without wonderful friends to share it with. I guess that's what you call finally being at peace with yourself (even if i wouldn't flatter myself to say that i found it in life, just that a momentary one can be found at the beach haha)
i now know why pple like to describe the sea as such in books. always thought it was quite cliche. but somehow, the magic worked its wonders on me too.
wanted to sit there forever.
and i think east coast park is as beautiful as every other beach in the world. you know those movies where they show the characters walking thru super pure white sands, extremely clear (artificially?) blue water... somehow, i couldn't think of a single way this beach DIDN'T match up to that dreamy one.
anyway, came to the conclusion that this is just CTs, (sure its very impt and leads up to Alvls) but, what is life if you kill yourself over every little thing coming your way? certainly, need to work hard, but when you are really overcome with stress/pressure/undue negative worries, dun kill yourself over it and go relax.
life is only as good as you let it be to you :)
haha and okay, guiltily i shall admit that i slacked around after coming home... ah well. hehe.
i want to go again with friends one day tho :) think itll be really nice to sit on a mat on the beach and lie down, talk, laugh and eat with a bunch of friends, relaxing and enjoying life tgt.
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