hmmm sometimes, i feel that i've chosen the wrong third language to study for the last four years of secondary school. :( Like when I read some people's blogs and they're talking about how much they love the third language they study (for example in this certain person's case-- french) , I'm thinking "Why don't I feel this way? Why am I so damn apathetic when it comes to this language that I've sacrificed so much time after school attending lessons and travelling home for 1.5 hrs after lesson for?"
I seriously don't feel very much for the language. Like sure, it's cool to say that I know a 3rd language but I don't USE it, I don't think about it now after 4 years are up, I didn't hesitate the slightest bit or felt a pang of attachment to the subject when I immediately chose not to take it as a H2 subject. Argh. What is wrong with me? Why the HECK did I not stick with my decision and take Japanese?
When we were choosing 3rd languages, I immediately unhesitatingly picked Jap. I KNEW that wanted to learn it. I was interested in it, I loved the way it sounded. BUT the me then had totally no backbone at all. Guess what, seeing that almost all my sec 1 classmates were taking french and veryfew (who i didnt know at the time) were taking jap, I switched the language I took. It didn't help that my parents were all for it either, being much more interested in french, they were. I have a sinking feeling that is the worst decision I have made in my entire 16 years of life.
Even now, I love japanese food, the culture, the traditional clothes, the traditions (like the tea ceremony!), the LANGUAGE is totally awesome, and i feel all these not because I watch anime and jap dramas. Individually all the elements are so perfect in their own way. In my ipod, 3/4 of the songs are japanese (and I don't understand most of them -.-). And of the 1/4 remaining songs, i seldom listen to them. I even bought a japanese DICTIONARY for goodness sakes (in sec 2) and a japanese katakana writing practise book. Which I barely did 1/8 of it. Which is amazing in its own right. Because I never ever ever study anything unecessary. EVER.
I don't even watch many french films. In fact, Ive watched only 4 at most? And I didnt appreciate them that much, cause all the endings gave you a "What the heck" feeling. AHAHA. No french songs in my listening list. omg.
okay. nvm. it's no use bemoaning past decisions now. What I've been telling myself in the past year is that at least I forced myself to learn french through school because I KNOW I will totally pick up and try to learn jap next time. And then, I will have 4 languages xD awesome~~
butttt the problem is: If i had picked up jap now, I could have learnt it all the way in JC and even in uni. And that is so much more wholesome isnt it?
argh.
okay. end of rant
anw, went for youth club interview yesterday and interact interview today. i THINK it went well, *hope so!!!* *crosses fingers* xD
nn then we got guilt-tripped totally by the chinese orchestra teacher/coach/guy? haiz, he was talking as though he totally needed us (coz of all those instruments which not many pple want to play) and he looked so hopeful and talked as if we were already going to join and solve his problems for him and we were just attending for fun! Actually, i don't even know why i wanted to attend and dragged rence along. It was just a gan-chiong thing coz I felt that I needed to sign up for a few just in case. omgomg. I don't really want to join. But after we left, we felt so immensely guilty. like omg. guilt trip to the max
ahhh.
haha and that's all! I hope orientation (which starts tmrw) is FUN!!!! make new friends :):) please let me be outgoing happy and high tmrw :)
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